Love is a basic human emotion, but understanding how and why it happened is not easy. In fact, for a long time, scientists thought that love is just a science can not understand. But do not worry, we can still understand what love is. Here are four theories of love that explains the difference between love, love (love) and the emotional bond, let's see;
1. Likes Vs Love
Psychologist Zick Rubin explains that romantic love consists of three elements, namely: attachment (attachment), caring (caring) and intimacy (intimacy). Attachment is the need to receive attention and physical contact with others. Care (caring) is the ability you have to respect and give happiness to others. While intimacy (intimacy) refers to the need to share their thoughts, desires and feelings with others.
Based on these definitions, Rubin designed the scales of liking and loving (Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving). This scale reveals whether one loves or merely disliked. In one study, Rubin asked a number of respondents to fill out the scale, based on how they feel to their partners and friends. The results showed that feelings for a friend having a high score on a scale of love and feelings of the couple has a high score on the scale of love.
Love is not a concrete concept and therefore difficult to measure. However, Rubin's Scales of Liking and Loving offers a way to measure the complex feelings of love.
2. Passion Vs Love
According to the University of Hawaii psychology professor Elaine Hatfield, there are two basic types of love, the love affection (compassionate love) and passionate love (passionate love). Love affection characterized by mutual engagement, mutual respect, respect, care and trust. Affection usually grow out of feelings of mutual understanding and mutual respect of each other.
While love is based on passion (passionate love) is characterized by intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. When love avenged (reciprocated love), people feel excited and happy. But if love is not shortchanged (unreciprocated love), will lead to feeling sad, discouraged and even desperate.
Hatfield suggests that passionate love is based on the ephemeral, as influenced physiological functions in humans. As you feel excited when they're in front of a beautiful lady or a cool man. According to Hatfield, ideally, love is a relationship that combines the comfort and love with passion itself. So the relationship between the pair will last longer and avoid issues seliongkuh or divorce.
3. Color Wheel Theory of Love
In 1973, John Lee in his book Klassik The Colors of Love, love the type analogy with the theory of wheel / circle color (color wheel / color circle), which is an abstract illustration of the links between primary colors, secondary colors and color complementary (see explanation color wheel here)
Just as there are three primary colors, Lee explains that there are three main types of love, which is Eros and Storge Ludos. Eros is a feeling of love for someone who is considered the most ideal. Ludos regard love as a game, while storge think love is merely friendship.
Similarly, the color wheel analogy, love is also a combination of Eros and Storge Ludos. The combination among others;
- Mania (Eros + Ludos) = Obsessive Love (obsessive love);
- Pragma (Ludos + Storge) = Love a realistic and practical (practical love);
- Agape (Eros + Storge) = unconditional love (selfless love)
4. Triangular Theory of Love
Love triangle in question here is not that we often hear; any third party in a relationship. Rather, the three components of love (the triangular theory of love) by Robert Sternberg. Sternberg explains that there are three components of love, namely: intimacy (intimacy), passion (passion) and commitment (commitment).
- Intimacy - Which includes feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, etc..
- Passion - Which covers between romantic love and sexual attraction.
- Commitment - That the decision to stay with friends for a long time.
Different combinations of these three components produces different kinds of love. For example, the combination of intimacy and commitment in compassionate love (compassionate love), while the combination of passion and intimacy lead to passionate love (passionate love).
Sternberg introduced the term perfect love (Consummate love) to describe the combination of intimacy, passion and commitment. Relationships are built on two individuals will be more perfect if it is based on a combination of the three. Even so, Sternberg doubt the existence of love is perfect in this world, how about you?
There are several theories that have not love attach admin. however, some theories on love most can not explain the love that had been considered goods "abstract".
Reference:
- Rubin, Zick. 1970. Measurement of romantic love. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
- Hatfield, E., & Rapson, R. (2005). Love and sex: Cross-cultural perspectives. Needham Heights, MA: Allyn & Bacon.
- Lee JA (1973). Colours of love: an exploration of the ways of loving. Toronto: New Press
- Robert J. Sternberg, "triangulating Love ', in T. J. Oord ed. The Altruism Reader (2007)
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